The Lie

The Lie . . . 

It is so common that we don’t even think about it.  It happens every week, probably in every church; at least the ones I’ve attended.  We do it without even realizing that we do it.  We set up or are set up multiple times on any given Sunday.  As a matter of fact, it has become the normal way of greeting, but most likely it is not a real question.  “Hi, how are you?”

“Hi, how are you?”  The quick and usual answer is, “Good” or “Fine”. Really, is that the truth when saying “Good” or “Fine”?  Is that true, or is it “The lie”?  “How are you” is not usually a real question, it’s a form of greeting. 

I am asked that question every week by multiple people and honestly I’m not sure what to say? Do they really want to know, or are they just saying “Hi”?    Most people expect to hear, “Good” or “Fine”.  But the truth is that I’m going through challenges, struggles and problems that most people don’t really want to talk about.  If I’d really tell the truth it gets a little uncomfortable and many people don’t really know what to say in response.  The truth is that I’m losing my vision and it is becoming a serious problem.  The truth is that I have severe hearing loss, so I’m missing out on conversations and asking people to repeat what they said.  The truth is that I’m having multiple seizures per week, sometimes several in a single day.  The truth is that I feel stupid because I can’t remember even the simple things.  The truth is that I feel more like a burden than a blessing. The truth is that my physical condition is declining and discouraging.  The truth is I don’t have any hope of things improving unless God would grant me a miracle. 

I don’t want to lie.  I want to be honest and real, so I'm learning what to say when asked the question, "How are you?"
·     I’m glad to be alive.
·     I thank God for …”
·     I’m glad that …
*   In comparison I’m doing great.
·    God has been helping me with …

*    *  I’m doing well in the condition that I’m in.

Sometimes I take the risk and answer …

• The truth is that I’ve been struggling with physical issues.
• The truth is that my cancer treatments are now affecting me.
• The truth is that I need your prayers for . . .

So what are some good options to say so that we don’t set people up for “The Lie”?  Instead we can say ...

·         Good morning, afternoon, evening.

·         I’m glad to see you.

·         I’m glad you are here today.

·         You’re looking good today.

·         I like that outfit. 

·         You have a great smile.

·         You’re an encouragement to me.

·         I am grateful for your friendship.

·         I missed you last Sunday, or I missed you at …

·         Etc Etc – you can think of some other good options.

We need to be more careful so we don’t set up “The Lie”.  Unless you really care, want to know and have the time to listen, don’t ask, “How are you?”

The truth is that my hope, my confidence, my comfort is in the Lord, Jesus Christ.  

Good Things In Bad Times

In the difficult, hard, negative or bad times of life that good things become more clear.  I can see good things in bad times. They help to clarify priorities and principles by which I want to live, while I live.  It was in the brain cancer diagnosis and being told that I had less than a year to live that somethings became clear.  They were good for me to see and clarify.  It was in the hardship, the darkest night and the deepest valley that priorities became so clear.  It’s good to be reminded that there are good things in bad times.

·      It is good to be reminded that every day is a gift from God.

I have a deeper awareness that one day I’m going to die and leave this world.  I want to “count my days and make my days count”.  Every new day that God gives me is a gift.

·   It is good to be reminded that family are the most important people in the world.

They are the ones who loved me and really cared about me when I was going through hard times.  It’s family that we’ve wanted to be with for birthday and holidays.  It’s sad that I can treat strangers better than I sometimes treat my family members.

·   It is good to be reminded how important it is to have close friends.

I needed friends that really cared enough to do something about it and they did.  It’s fare to say that in my journey that I have needed friends more than they have needed me.  Close friends have been so helpful and encouraging through the darkest nights and deepest valleys. 

·   It’ s good to be reminded about the importance of giving.

 It has been said that we should, “Do our giving while we’re living so we’re knowing where it’s going”.   I realize that I have so much compared to most of the world.  I want to give more.  I want to invest in eternity by giving to Christian ministries and to those in great need.  Now’s the time!  There are so many needs and I can only give while I am still alive.

·   It is good to be reminded or realize how terrible sin is to a holy God.  

It’s sad that I or we can so easily enjoy for entertainment things for which Jesus had to die.  I want to grow in my walk with Christ.  As I’ve grown closer to God I find that I want to be further away from sin and evil.

·   It is good to be reminded that worshiping God is a key to victory in hard times.

I found that by worshiping the Lord that I received strength, encouragement and hope.  I experienced God's presence and peace when I worshiped Him.  I realized that I was in a "Win - win" scenario". If God healed me, I win.  If I die I will go to be with the Lord, I win.  

·   It’s good to be reminded that knowing Jesus as my personal Savior is the most important thing in this world. 

With my brain cancer diagnosis there was a greater need to know that I was forgiven, saved, was up to date in my relationship with the Jesus and had the hope of heaven.  I learned to live with a greater desire to be closer to Jesus.  It was good to want to be closer to Jesus. 

I guess that’s why the bible says there are good things in bad times . . .  

Psalm 119:67 “Before I was afflicted I went astray, but now I obey Your word.”

Psalm 119:71 “It was good for me to be afflicted so that I might learn Your decrees.”

James 1:2-4   “Consider it pure joy …whenever you face trials of many kinds … because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.  Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete …”

Yes, there are good things in bad times!

Closing the Curtains In Fear of being shot

Closing the Curtains

The memories of dramatic or traumatic experiences live on in our minds indefinitely.   For me it involves a terrorist attack and now closing the curtains every night when it gets dark.  Most nights I walk around to make sure all the windows are shut, the blinds are closed and the curtains are pulled shut.  It’s something that I just have to do to feel comfortable, especially with all the crazy shootings that have been happening.

It all started while we were living in Rhodesia, now Zimbabwe, Africa.  I got a phone call from my parents at the boarding home where I lived during the school year.  They told me that terrorists had attack the mission, many gun shots had been fired but they were okay. The neighboring missionaries home had been shot up pretty badly, but no one was killed. I was to pray for safety!  I remember a panic that filled me as I wondered if my parents would be alright.  They were living approximately 100 miles away in “the bush” from the city of Bulawayo and very vulnerable to terrorist attacks when they needed money, food, clothes, vehicles, etc.

But it was the times I would get to go home during the holidays or breaks when school was closed that I remember so clearly.  There are still emotions and fears buried deep inside of me.  News casts and newspapers told stories of how terrorists had stopped travelers to get the supplies that had been purchased in the city.  Some had been stopped, some shot, some were killed when they drove over land mines while traveling out of the city.  While we travel in the car, I would slide deep down in my seat and crouch down beside the frame of the car by the window.  I sat like that till it became too uncomfortable to stay in that position and only move slightly to relieve the pain.  I was afraid that we were going to be shot and killed.  After traveling on the paved roads we had about 7 miles of dirt road to our house.  Every inch of that drive I wondered if we would blow up from hitting a land mine.  That was not uncommon in the news.  It always seemed to involve terrorists getting supplies that they needed.

I was 15 and living in that condition was very stressful for me, but especially as it began to get dark.  We all came inside, locked all the doors, shut the windows and closed the curtains.  All of our lights were turned off for the night and if we needed to move around, we used a small flashlight or a candle to see.  We went into one bedroom for the night and slept on mattresses on the floor.  We kept loaded riffles beside our mattresses in case we would get attack.  A large bureau was pushed up against the window and it was stuffed full of books, clothes and blankets in the hope of stopping any bullets that might be fired at our house.  We kept our movements to as few as possible, trying to not even go to the bathroom at night.  It’s so easy to be seen in a house when it’s dark outside and the lights are on in the inside.  It was only as the dark was dispelled by the rising sun that we felt comfortable enough to come out of that bedroom.

I was changed by living in that fear for months.  I am still uncomfortable at windows when it’s dark.  There’s an inner discomfort that there may be someone watching from outside.  So, I close the curtains, I talk to the Lord while thinking for some reason that I might get shot.  Over the years closing the curtains have become little spiritual tune-ups with the Lord. I want to be in right relationship with Hun regardless of how, when or where I die.

Maybe many people have those experiences that change their lives and remind you to pray?
For me there have often been little prayers while closing the curtains.